It's often hard when blogging to not get caught up in the beautiful pictures, the darling outfits, and the deliriously happy children. I wonder what I could be doing differently or what I could be doing more of. I know I try to measure up to some amazing ladies whose houses are always spotless and they seem to be perfectly put together.
The truth of it is, for me at least, I like to pick out the good. It helps me to be more grateful.
Today, I'm choosing to share something honest.
Miss L turned 3 last week. The only thing on my mind was to make the cake I want to have at her birthday party, a trial run before the big day. I'd done it with my sister, but joint efforts are different than being on your own. Woke up and got an email about a 40% off at Old Navy only for the day. Crap, plans just changed. Oh well, still plenty of time. I can totally make it work. We run big brother to school and head up to Old Navy. 2 hours later and more money than I'd like to think about was spent. Got home, tried everything on and realized I needed different sizes for the birthday girl. Literally fed the baby, picked up big brother and headed back to Old Navy. Still not showered for the day and it's 3:00. Not exactly how I planned, but we are just rolling with it. Luckily, I found all of the right sizes and on our way home we went. I made a quick cake and then ordered pizza. Fed the baby again, ate and started making frosting.
Of course right when I started the roses in my lightest shade of pink, chaos erupted.
The kids got out of the bath and big brother was teasing the birthday girl which made the birthday girl fall and roll into the baby. There was screaming from the baby who was startled, not hurt, crying from the birthday girl, and shock from the big brother who knew he was busted. Mr. J was trying to help except I'd just handed him the phone to talk to my brother. I'm sure I tried to blame him for something, maybe taking the phone that I handed him?
I started stressing. All I wanted to do for the day was make a cake for my daughter! Granted it was not a regular cake. It had to be made, then cooled in the fridge, put on a cake stand and frosted with rosettes.
I looked at my mom and with tears in my eyes said, "This is the first day I've really thought having 3 kids was hard. I can't even frost her cake." She understood. She took the baby. She calmed the kids. She took over.
I was frazzled. My hands were warm and the frosting wasn't holding. It was starting to soften. By the time I got to the darker pink, I was sweating and everyone knew better than to come into the kitchen. It was 8:30 and almost time for bed.
I decided to just frost the side since the flowers weren't holding.
From the picture above, you wouldn't have even known. It wasn't perfect, but it was a whole lot better than the whole picture.
Does that sweet face look like she's even one bit concerned that the darkest pink didn't come out? No, she's thrilled that she finally blew out the 3rd candle. She's loving that her whole family is cheering her on. She got to pick pizza for dinner and was called many times with cousins, aunts and uncles, and grandmas and grandpas singing at the top of their lungs wishing her a happy birthday.
For this small while in my life, it's not about me. It's about chubby fingers and teaching them how to make the number 3. It's about celebrating eating a full dinner. It's about finding the hugest leaf in the history of leaves. It's about heads poking out of the sunroof while we drive into the driveway. It's about painting outside on scrap wood. It's about convincing my kids that their clothes are awesome and they should start wearing them. It's about jumping off rocks, playing hopscotch, and learning colors. It's about learning, more on my part than theirs, and moving forward.
Let's hope the cake comes out awesome this weekend! I've bribed a friend to help me out!